AND THEN, IT'S 35....
Just turned 35. What? Aaaa.. the age, the numbers. Oh, well.. i don't care. Maybe i do care. Actually i used to care. But i'm not anymore. I mean, what will it be if i'm 45? I'm still like this after 35 dunno-what-i-do years. Been here & there, trying so hard to achieve something & yet still nothing. I can't even do 1 thing right. What am i gonna do next? I'm not a bad guy. I dunno how to conned people, i dunno how to charm a girl & bring her home on my bed, i dunno how to party all night & get drunk.. i'm even not a good guy. So who am i then? I don't belong. I just dunno what to do. Some times i feel that God is laughing at me.. "Look at the loser, hahaha!". Maybe i deserved all that. Maybe i'm just not a good son, not a good brother, not a good friend, not a good worker.. not good at anything. I want to be good. I want to do something right. But then again.. i'm tired. I'm tired of everything. Tired of hearing my housemate alarm early in the morning but he don't even wake up, tired of avoiding kids playing football near the elevator that they already hit me once, tired of bias officers at the office.. tired, i'm just tired. You know what i want right now? I always imagine i that 1 day i'm gonna die alone on my bed without anybody by my side. I really hope that day will come. Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna die in my sleep, in peace. So the next morning i don't have to think about everything else. Then maybe for once, i'm finally free..
Goodbye.
6 comments:
Salam Tuan.
:-)
Saya tak mengenali Tuan tp saya pernah mengalami seperti Tuan.
Sabar & bertenang.
Redakan kegelisahan hati Tuan dengan Dia.
Jom kita amik wuduk & buat solat sunat.
Jangan risau.
Kekuatan orang Islam adalah doa.
Lepaskan segala-galanya pada Dia.
Kita takde sapa-sapa dlm dunia ni tp kita sentiasa ada Dia...
thanks bro. looks like i'm still awake this morning. bukan tak bersyukur usia panjang, tapi dah tahap takleh nak track balik apa aku dah buat after all this time. bukan tak sedar apa aku buat, tapi what actually did i do. guess i just have to continue living the life i'm in right now until the end of time.
Alhamdulillah nko masih ada akal.
:-)
Biasala tu bro.
Kadang-kadang rasa tepu.
Lg best kita dpt berzikir.
Yg penting kita sntiasa ingat Tuhan,siang & malam,
berbaring atau berjalan.
Semoga kita terus bersyukur.
Amin.
wau... 35.. brimful of asha (minus 10) hahaha...
lek bro.. we are living in the world that has been pulled over our eyes to blind us from the truth...
yang penting matlamat kite di sana~~~ oh oh... di sana
Wow...take it easy bro....life's just like that =)
Hmm, walaupun entry ni agak lama, bulan lepas, tp aku still nak tolong ngko gak, eheh...
Hmm, apa yg aku nak gtau ko brader dirudamai dah tlg cakapkan. Yelah, benda yang kita rancang tak menjadi, camna tak emo, betul tak??
Aku pun walaupun belum smp umur cam ko penah kena camni jugak. Jujur cakap, aku penah sampai gelak sorang2, nangis sorang2... sapa buat camtu bro? Orang gila je!
Tp tulah cam makcik aku selalu cakap kat aku, Tuhan tu takkan selama2nya kasi kita susah. Dulu aku pun fed up bila orang dok cakap, "sabar je lah", tapi bila pikir balik, benda tu mmg banyak betulnya.
Aku check balik life aku, ada masa time aku tgh susah, tetiba je bantuan datang depan mata. Tuhan tu kalau nak tolong bila2 masa je, tapi ingat kalau nak tarik nikmat pun bila2 masa jugak!
So, aku pun akan cakap benda yang penah buat aku fed up dulu, "Sabar je lah" bro. Seriously, ko banyak2an doa. Sekali Tuhan bagi nikmat rezeki melimpah ruah kang sampai kita tak terkutip pulak! So, terima je dulu apa yang kita ada sekarang, jadi anak soleh, sure Tuhan akan tolong. Aku tau ko ni orang baik, jangan putus asa.
Ok bro, aku chow dulu. Keep rockin'!!
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